my anxiety feelings

Dear blog

I can not get on with any thing today I have came to a stand still for the first time in a while I just do not know what I want to do online

As to much depressing news out there so may as well sit here and see what comes out to wright I do have a lot of questions and personal feelings and quight hurtful feelings to about no care and its as if no one can care any more I know hopefully in june I can maybe go but one thing is putting me off are we going to have to isolate on arrival

As that is not what I use the service for and that service I use it for is a small social to speak to folk and tell them what I have been doing who ever has thought of this has not thought it all the way I do not have a relation ship with the team or a named person so it does not worry me if they can not take us I wood love to stay here and not go but that will not help the social anxiety if there is such a thing or a word social anxiety I might of made it up social anxiety but I am sure there is a word for that social anxiety

I also have anxiety about using strange restrooms for a private time I do not mind if its in my family house anxiety can effect you in lots of ways and parts of daily life and I think this pandemic has left me feeling as if I have anxiety

Will they understand about anxiety if I try to express this all the staff who I could be open with has left years ago and even the one who worked in the council office out of that building has left years ago she could help me right now in that building

Has linda gone as well she has been there for 40 years but I do not have a relation ship with her as she has let me down to menny times over the years even to talk to her about anxiety wood be to much she needs a good balling at her as her manners have changed since the time she took the roll of team leader and I do not even know if the old manager is there drina as the new one is a queen she has bought covid in

All we need is for a user to get that and die I will not say that in voice but I will say it in words on this wrighting as that is what I am thinking

Could the old manager find vicki you see to do this I wood need to go at a weekend and that is not my plan currently but if I find that manager I will ask as she can change it to suit that request as some users are not willing to do the covid testing so there for are not coming just had another thought

Has louise left as I like to share with her at times she can tell the day shift as she is only doing night shift since I do not sleep there I am up late as that place I am scared of fires as its that hot the place could smoke a fag at times and go up in flames and its more the anxiety its triggering me in to thinking who am I sharing that building with as I liked when it was respite only not the2 service with un knowing viruses wich to me are coming in does she not know you can get other viruses in hospitals like vomiting and the shits ones it can spred like fire

She used to run a home to me that is what she wanted to do with this place but some one higher up stopped her and could ask her to stepp down again I hope they do as it was never run as a hospital kamp that to me is what she is making it out as